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Marpa, a Tibeten mystic was once asked by one if his disciples how he feels now that he’s enlightened. Marpa replied, “Just as miserable as before!”. The disciple asked, “but how?” to which Marpa replied, “sometimes I like to have a taste of the world so i go back.”.

You see, Marpa’s quality has changed. Misery, happiness, they’re both clouds in the sky. Just because you one day learned that clouds were not the sky did not mean the clouds disappeared. When you can turn your awareness freely from the clouds to the infinite sky and back again, you are free.

My lover took away my robe of sin and I let it fall, rejoicing; then he plucked at my robe of virtue, but I was ashamed and alarmed and prevented him. It was not till he wrested it from me by force that I saw how my soul had been hidden from me.

~ Sri Aurobindo, Thoughts and Aphorisms.

Many people are all to willing to drop their pain. Anything that relieves of our pain we’re all-too-willing to do – almost.

What Aurobindo points out is that we like to hold on to our virtues. Not only do we eagerly choose positivity over negativity we greedily layer ourselves with virtuous robes. If I were to tug at a cloak of pain you would ask me to pull it off. If I were to tug on your virtuous cloak you would push me away. Wearing garments of virtue keep us living within a state of tension and struggle because we’re always afraid they’ll get dirty. And that’s part of the problem, isn’t it? We all know a beautiful pair of white shoes gets dirty the fastest – especially when there’s somewhere we need to be looking our best.

The mind has a habit of splitting things up into two parts – good bad, happy sad, yes no. The thing is the fruits of love contain the seeds of hatred; the fruits of success contain the seeds of failure. When we walk in this world we cannot walk east without ending up in the west. By dropping all dualities, by dropping mind; life becomes whole. Be as eager to drop your virtues as you are of your sins and discover who you are.

God is now; life is now; existence is now. Thoughts happen after now, words follow shortly after – actions come all to late. Tomorrow and yesterday sit on top of thoughts, words and actions. Destroy the foundation and the house will fall.  Using thoughts and words to fix problems of today, tomorrow or yesterday is like more water on a drowning victim.

I’m a thoughtful chess piece being moved about by a silent chess master. How I long to be one with the real king of this game.

I came across this poem Rumi wrote. I would love to endlessly show you how each piece of his writings captures the essence of religion, but i could never put it as simply or beautifully as this. I hope you enjoy:

Like this, Rumi – Sufi

If anyone asks you how the perfect satisfaction of all our sexual wanting will look, lift your face and say,

Like this.

When someone mentions the gracefulness of the night sky, climb up on the roof and dance and say,

Like this?

If anyone wants to know what “spirit” is, or what “God’s fragrance” means, lean your head toward him or her. Keep your face there close.

Like this.

When someone quotes the old poetic image about clouds gradually uncovering the moon, slowly loosen knot by knot the strings of your robe.

Like this?

If anyone wonders how Jesus raised the dead, don’t try and explain the miracle. Kiss me on the lips.

Like this. Like this.

When someone asks what it means to “die for love,” point

Here.

If someone asks how tall I am, frown and measure with your fingers the space between the creases on your forehead.

This tall.

The soul sometimes leaves the body, then returns. When someone doesn’t believe that, walk back into my house.

Like this.

When lovers moan, they’re telling our story.

Like this.

I ask where the spirits live. Stare into this deepening blue, while the breeD says a secret.

Like this.

When someone asks what there is to do, light the candle in his hand.

Like this.

A little wind cleans the eyes.

Like this.

Many people approach meditation wrong. In fact, the first mistake is that they approach it. For meditation to happen you must become passive, receptive, silent – you must leave the doer behind. Two cannot exist for the one to be. The mystics had it right, the Lao Tzu’s, the Jesus’, Krishna’s and Gautama’s – the Buddha’s of the world. They never attacked meditation, it happened. That’s what meditation is, that’s what prayer is – a happening. It happens because you are not there – only the witness is left. Pure, refined, total. On one hand we sit, waiting for peace, enlightenment, love – it doesn’t matter – the minute those thoughts enter our mind the doer takes over, the ‘wanter’, the taker.

There’s a story… One day a man was walking past the river on a beautiful sunny day. And as he walked by he saw the village idiot reaching out with his hands and closing his fists tightly, then peering in angrily over and over. He walked up to him and asked, “What are you doing and why are you so angry?” The man replied, “It’ll be dark later. I’m trying to catch some of this light for my hut but every time I look into my fists it’s dark! I’ve been at this every day for a week and haven’t succeeded yet!”

That’s the doer in us! You can’t take meditation, peace – you can’t possess them either. They are not for us to take off the shelf and place back when we’re finished. They happen to us, and they happen only when we’re passive, receptive, ready.

Sit, just sit.

I leave you with this line from quotation, “In silence it is heard and known; in silence it is felt and lived; in silence you become it, it becomes you. Not through action will you reach but through inaction and silence. ~ Osho”

Electric current can illuminate a light, power a computer or even a machine of war. And though it powers many things it remains the same current. So too this thing we call consciousness remains the same whether it animates a flowers growth, a lion’s roar or a babies cry.

Relationships seem to dance on that border of ‘say I love you so I feel good’ vs ‘saying I love because an urge arises within the loving.’. I see flowers blooming whether we (man) acknowledge it. A flower lacking the light of the sun or roots in the earth dies, again, whether we acknowledge it. One flower  poised towards the light or a thousand atop a hillside bloom as beautiful for the sinner or saint or sinner alike – in fact, it blooms as beautiful when neither are present.

Man, however…

How we yearn to hear the kind words of our friends and family, to feel the embrace of another. Life blooms all around us in and of itself. A flower does not grow expecting the sun, it simply grows.. There is no ego in the flowers fragrances. As a sinner the flower’s fragrances bathe my senses as equally as when I’m a saint.

Maybe the flower lacks ego because of man’s abundance of it. Maybe most of nature lacks ego because of man’s abundance of it.

Never adopt a mature attitude: Be whatsoever you are – mature or immature. By allowing yourself to be who you really are growth will come. If you’re feeling immature, be immature. If you’re feeling mature, be mature. But by adopting one or the other because your friends, family or priests tell you to then you are repressing – killing your being. The true way for you to be has been in you from the moment you were born – even before you were born. You’re true nature, your being is waiting to blossom inside of you. Be natural and let it come out.

Yes, some people may be angry because you’re not smiling when everyone else is or when someone says it’s appropriate – but that’s political, unnatural, fake. Be true to yourself and you will be true to others. Be real, authentic, be you.

~ Be content to seem what you really are. Marcus Aurelius

Only when the ocean stills do I see my depth. Each thought like a wind, changing direction, stirring the waves. Each wave another emotion rising and falling on my surface. Do you have the patience to wait till your waters still so you see your depth?